Hello October:)

Bridgette's back:)tell a friend..hehe..

So,yeah..am back for good.September has been a disaster.Thank God I survived.I could been in that fire or I could have been a victim of on of those numerous accidents!I don't know why God found it necessary for me to bne here today and no,I am not complaining..I just feel favored and too some extent,I feel as if I do not deserve it.Why?To say the truth,I dont think I am one of His favourite people.Stuff I have been doing with my life doesnt make Him my number one fan (#gag) but as I said..I am not complaining:).Sure as hell.Anyway,this does not mean that my September has been rosy!As I said earlier;stuff I have been doing with my life,people I chose to trust *regrets*.I have cried a little bit too much this September but hey,that which cannot kill you can only make you stronger,ay?

I'm a better woman,I'm a better person,I'm a better friend and I'm definately a better student (those grades for last semister *eish*).i learnt my lessons.Sure as hell.I realised that I should have never let anyone other than myself hold my happiness.Whoa! wait,even I let myself down at times!Like earlier today,when I was reading my earlier blog posts and I kept wondering "Really?Really?I gave that lame Einstein joke?!What am I?10 YEARS OLD?!And the public saw this?Damn it Bridgette!"Lol.That's Bree drama right there.Anyway,so it hit me that I couldn't depend on myself fully.Shame.However,yesterday I discovered an extention of myself.Yeah,extention.Like..uummm..an external hard-disk (is that even relevant?).I found it in my dad.It has always been there and it's a shame that I have discovered it after 18 years.Yesterday I sat with my dad and we talked for like hours.I was in need of serious and intellectual conversation (Trust me,after not seeing him for like 7 months,it was truly refreshing).Back to the story,during this conversation it hit me;even when I lack the power and drive to chase my own future,even when I lack doubt my abilities and worth,I always find the strength in my dad..Whenever I lack the power to do it for me,I can never be unable to do it for this man..

He holds my heart in his heart.For real.That is priceless love right there but again,it is not timeless.Daddy aint immortal:(.One day I will be on my own with noone to hold my hand in the dark.Hell,daddy can't see in the dark either!I may love to think that he is superhuman but he aint.Even he knows that.Maybe he knows it better than I do.That is why he puts all his faith,trust and hopes in his God.I hope that one day I will be able tom anchor my faith where daddy's faith is at because the peace in this man can't be because of his financial security,established career or his beautiful family.It goes way deeper and one day I hope to find myself at such a level.To be able to inspire my children like he does.To see the world in the same colors as he does.I know I make him sound perfect but he isnt.He keeps telling people that all seems perfect because he is not in control of his own life.A greater person shines through him.I might not be able to understand these things, they are beyond my comprehension.I don't know if you have found such peace.I know I havent but I am sure I need it.This life needs a higher power in control.You know you need it too..However,this are some of those things that we cant force.So,on a lighter note,this October.. Work like you don't need the money, Love like you have never been hurt, Dance like nobody's watching..

I dont know if this post has made any sense today but hey,that is not my main concern:I write to empty my mind and fill my heart.. Lovely October, Bridgette. xx.